When I got married I did not change my name. For my whole life I had been one of the only three Baba Ndanani's in existence and that was very significant to me. The entire time my then fiance (now husband) was neutral on the matter. If I did change my name he was cool, if I didn't he was cool. So, I took my question to Facebook. Women from all over my network chimed in, and it was there that the words from an aunt stuck me...
"You took the ring, now take the name."
So simple. So true. Yet, for some reason, I still couldn't bring myself to take my man's moniker.
Then two years of marriage happened. And in a moment of clarity, beyond the fussing and stinky socks and bills, I realized that I belonged. I belonged to Akeem and he belonged to me. And Layla belonged to us. And "us" was a unit. And I wanted to rep my squad. And to do that I needed to carry the name.